It's right in front of us

How oblivious can we be? Quite frankly, that's a pretty dangerous question. Just when we think we have it all figured out, we get smacked inteh face with another reality, a reality that we should already know, a reality that has already become real to us...or at least it should have.

For me, it happens with Scripture regularly. I have spent since the Fall of 1992 studying for the ministry or being in the ministry, so you would think I would stop being surprised by what I see. After all, I've touched every page of my Bible a few times by now, right?

It happened again, this time in an old favorite passage, a passage that as Bible students you are made aware of over and over and over. A passage that promises God's touch on the Bible that sits in our laps. A passage that we cling to.

And yet, something new.

2 Timothy 3:10 - 17 You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra- which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me. Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.

Why is Paul telling Timothy that the Bible is inspired, that it is breathed out by God? Who cares that it is profitable for teaching, reproof, correction, training?

The man that is in the midst of persecution. The man that is trying to cling to what is right, to make God happy, to bring a smile to his face. Who cares? That man who is at the end of his rope, ready to let go, when he reads, "I will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13.5)."

The man who thinks he is about to fall down the last stair, after he just picked himself up when he reads, "Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand (Psalm 37:24)."

The man who doesn't have the will to stand against any more bad-mouthing, good for nothing, disrespectful rumor-mongers, when he reads, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44)."

Me.

Living In The Blank

I have recently stumbled across this article that speaks very specifically to who I am right now in my relationship with Him. Quite frankly, the greatest encouragement is that I don't have to quietly endure the blanks. The psalmist gives me permission to address the God of the blanks.


Psalm 13 is a member of the frequently-occurring category of psalm - the lament. Though only six verses, it features all the things found in laments that make us uneasy. It is a no-holds-barred prayer in which the psalmist affixes blame for his dire situation with God. In two verses, the psalmist levels four straight questions at God, all starting the same way:

"How long?" It is an emphatic, even impolite, series of questions.

Old Testament scholar Walter Brueggemann warns against jumping to conclusions. Only to an outsider does this illustrate a failure of faith. On the contrary, it is, as Brueggemann writes, bold faith. Bold faith insists on presenting reality as it is experienced. It refuses to give a polite, edited-for-TV version. Prayers that arise from a contrived faith settle for a contrived god, a god who can't handle the truth. Laments refuse to settle. They seek God and nothing less. Thus the jarring language.

If the first four verses of Psalm 13 are jarring for their boldness, the last two are jarring for their rejoicing. Like many laments, this psalm takes a 180-degree turn. "But I trust in your unfailing love," writes the psalmist. "My heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord's name, for he has been good to me" (TNIV).

All attempts to explain this about-face are conjecture. But I would suggest we note something. Between the last line of verse four and the first of verse five, note the horizontal strip of blank, white page. For those of you without Bibles handy, it kind of looks like this:

Now granted, blank strips like this appear hundreds of times in the psalms, separating hundreds of verses. On the surface, this one is no different.

However, I wonder how much time is tucked into that blank strip. Obviously things changed for the psalmist between verses four and five. How long did it take for that change to come? Before the rejoicing began? How many days passed in which verses one through four were the extent of his prayer and beyond that was just an unbounded blank? Maybe that blank space covers months. Maybe it took years before the joyous change in his situation compelled the psalmist to compose those final lines.

We don't know. Even as these laments ask "How long?" over and over, they seem dead set against giving specifics. They give us only blank spaces. At the same time, this psalm is showing us how to live inside those blank spaces - wide, narrow or in-between. What do we do? We wait. We wait on God. Whether we wait patiently depends on what we mean by "patient." We are patient in the sense that we refuse to give up on God and settle for second-rate alternatives. In other words, we refuse to dull the pain of blankness with alcohol or mindless entertainment. We refuse to simply distract ourselves with busyness. We don't want to be numb (despite its appeal); we want what the alternatives canÂ’t deliver: rejoicing. So we endure the blank.

Not that we like it. The blank always sucks. But here's where the laments prove helpful. Their purpose is not to put us at ease with emptiness and the absence of God. (If anything, they increase our discontent.) Their purpose is, first of all, to give us permission to speak honestly with God about that discontent, even if it's at the expense of politeness. Second, they remind us that the blank always comes to an end. God comes.

The question is simply a matter of how long. (How long? How long, O Lord? How long?)

Would You Just Ask?!?!

Men and directions - it's the proverbial oil and water mixture we hear about in many jokes, and now see in a popular car commercial (where the dad refuses to use the GPS system that came with his new SUV). For some unknown reason, most men would rather try to figure out the terrain than stop and ask someone for directions. This will normally lead to the emotional outburst of, "Would you just ask?!?!"

Is it pride? Is it the tradition of manliness? Is it an extremely low i.q.? Quite frankly, I believe the answer is yes to all...

Too often in my own life I get going, and forget to stop and ask for directions. After all, the car is still moving, so that must mean that I am going the right way, right? Ok, I'll admit, I am a bit off course, but why stop now? If I just go a little further, I'm sure it will start looking familiar. I don't need help, directions, because I know what I am doing!

Humility. A willingness to simply ask. Like David. Notice how many times he "inquired of the Lord."

1 Samuel 23:2-5 Therefore David inquired of the LORD, "Shall I go and attack these Philistines?" And the LORD said to David, "Go and attack the Philistines and save Keilah." 3 But David's men said to him, "Behold, we are afraid here in Judah; how much more then if we go to Keilah against the armies of the Philistines?” 4 Then David inquired of the Lord again. And the Lord answered him, “Arise, go down to Keilah, for I will give the Philistines into your hand.” 5 And David and his men went to Keilah and fought with the Philistines and brought away their livestock and struck them with a great blow. So David saved the inhabitants of Keilah.

1 Samuel 30.8 And David inquired of the Lord, “Shall I pursue after this band? Shall I overtake them?” He answered him, “Pursue, for you shall surely overtake and shall surely rescue.”

2 Samuel 5.19 And David inquired of the Lord, “Shall I go up against the Philistines? Will you give them into my hand?” And the Lord said to David, “Go up, for I will certainly give the Philistines into your hand.”

2 Samuel 5.23 And when David inquired of the Lord, he said, “You shall not go up; go around to their rear, and come against them opposite the balsam trees.

"Hang on a second! Let me ask!" That's the attitude of David, and andesperatelyI desperatly need. I tend to get rolling along, pretending like I know exactly where I am going, somehow blinding myself to the fact that I'm a moron, and I really don't know where I am going.

Why don't I ask the One who does?!?!

Is it enough

I have recently been struck with the incredibly obvious: I am clueless. I have found myself in battles, both spiritual and physical, that are whooping up on me. There have been days when I sit to pray, and end up staring into space contemplating the vastness of my cluelessness.

If only I knew what tomorrow held. If only I knew who was calling my phone. If only I knew who was knocking on my door. If only I knew what consequences today’s hard obedience would bring. But, quite frankly, I have no clue.

I have found it quite amazing, in 2 Chronicles 20, that Jehoshaphat was in a similar situation (if you can look at my situation and say that I am surrounded by the Moabites and Ammonites, and their looking to kick my butt). Surrounded by enemies, he wondered aloud in prayer.

12 … We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you. (ESV)

I just don’t know anymore. I thought I knew, but now I don’t. I thought I was doing what was right, and now…now I have no clue. The awesome part is where he looked for his help…his eyes rested on God. He knew the answer was there. And God responds through a prophet with a powerful promise:

15 He said, "Listen, King Jehoshaphat! Listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says: Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God's… 17 But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the LORD's victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out there tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!" (NLT)

This isn’t your battle…you aren’t the general in charge. You are just a private, or not a military man at all. You just do what I tell you, and let me take care of it. They aren’t attacking you, they are attacking Me. I got it covered.

In previous years I would stop right there. How awesome to know that God is in charge, and we aren’t. That God has our backs. That God will take care of His own in His time in His way. That God is with us.

But, today I find encouragement just a little further down in the story.

18 Then Jehoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground, and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem fell down before the LORD, worshiping the LORD. 19 And the Levites, of the Kohathites and the Korahites, stood up to praise the LORD, the God of Israel, with a very loud voice. (ESV)

Before God actually delivered them, before the battle was over, before the battle had even begun, the people worshipped God. Why? For being who He is, even in the midst of struggle. He is in charge, and His presence is with us.

I may have no clue about tomorrow, the rest of today, next week, this phone call on my cell phone right now. But I do know who my God is, and how He loves me and promises to take care of me, be with me, win the battle.

Is that enough?

Finally full-time

This past weekend I was able to celebrate something I never thought possible…my 11th wedding anniversary. Now, I didn’t think it was impossible because of my wife, because of the difficulties of marriage, but rather because growing up, I dated soooo much (it was almost like my part-time job), I never thought I could trick anyone into being with me on a full-time basis.

Fortunately, I did trick one. Or perhaps a better way to say it is, God blinded one for me. And now, 11 years later, I’m “more in love with her than I have ever been.” Isn’t that what I am supposed to say? Not that it’s not true, but quite frankly, it’s so cliché, that phrase has lost all meaning. So let me be frank…

I am emotionally drawn to my wife. I am physically drawn to my wife. I am spiritually drawn to my wife. I am sexually drawn to my wife. I am relationally drawn to my wife.

But those things could be said since the day I first laid eyes on her. How is it that I am “more in love with her?”

Because when I first met her, I was like a social drinker having an occasional sip of wine. Now, after 11 years, I am flat out addicted to the stuff. I praise God that I can’t stop thinking about her, that I can’t wait to hold her, that I can’t wait to talk to her, that I can’t wait just to be with her. I can’t imagine a marriage where that wasn’t true.

God has given me a wife who loves me, honors me, respects me, and nurses me back to strength when the arrows of ministry are sticking in my hide.

Man, am I glad I’m finally full-time.

Maiden Voyage

Like my dad used to say...

"Off we go like a terd of hurdles!"

To be true to the title of the blog, I'll say this...I have no idea why I am blogging, nor when I'll have time to blog. But I do know everyone and their grandmom is blogging, and hey, I'm more hip than a grandmom, so......here I am.

My hope is to record things here, things that are true, things that are feeling true at the moment, sometimes just to enjoy my own private musings, to wonder aloud, and to remind myself of where God has taken me in this crazy journey I find myself on. Being a pastor has been a great experience, not because of the title, and certainly not because of the amazing pay scale, but because of the incredible accountability it is knowing that this stewardship God has given me is a serious one. So, for me, this blog will help me see where I have been, and what God has taught me.

Perhaps others will read and see that pastors are normal, have normal fears, experience normal emotion, want normal success, and fail in a very normal way.... hopefully more the former than the latter....

And others, well, they may just see this blog and decide that they really don't like what I have to say. Quite frankly, I don't like a lot of things I have to say. Maybe we can get together and have a party.....